Do Your Best…

Tags

goals, health, life, P90X

Forget the Rest.

It’s one of the catchphrases of P90X, and one I love. Why? It conquers the evil perfectionist voice in my head that begs me to push stop if I don’t have great form, or if I can’t do everything the people on the video do. In reality, I think, “Of course I can’t do that, those people are professional athletes, trainers, and P90X regulars!” But there’s still a little voice inside that says, “Oh, just give up. It’s okay. You did enough.”

But enough isn’t my best. I’ve been working at this P90X journey with everything I have. For the first time, I’m bringing EVERYTHING. Diet, exercise, and as much heart and energy that I can muster for the workouts.  Sometimes I fail.  Sometimes, I’m sure I look like an injured elephant trying to flail about at some workout move the DVD peeps do effortlessly.  But sometimes, on those sweet wonderful days, it all comes together.  I feel good, the workout feels good, I eat what I should, and I succeed beautifully.  But the truth is, every day I’m at it, pretty or not, I succeed.  Every day I eat celery instead of Girl Scout cookies, I succeed.  Every time I go to the grocery store and don’t buy that bottle of wine, I succeed.  I know that I will stumble along this journey.  I know that on at least one occasion I will fail so miserably, so completely that I will go to bed convinced that I am done with it.  But success, I’m finding, isn’t about perfection.  It’s about waking up the next day, lacing up the tennis shoes and pushing play all over again.

One of my favorite poems:

WILD GEESE, by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Vices

Tags

goals, health, Ian, life, P90X

I’ve had oh, so many vices over the years.  Smoking, drinking, eating unhealthy foods to cover up unpleasant emotions, video games, laziness…you name it.  Somewhere between my late twenties and early thirties I started to get it together.  I cut back on drinking, started eating better foods, and tried to avoid the urge to indulge in emotional eating.  I got back outside, hiking and running, and eventually started working out on a regular basis.  The smoking was the last to go, but go it did, and I had my last cigarette on December 28th, 2008.

So today I got to thinking, “What exactly is a vice?”  Merrium Webster lists six definitions, all basically centering around the same premise.  A vice is an imperfection, a shortcoming, a habitual defect.  And that got me thinking even more.  I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t need to binge eat to feel okay…what do I do?

All of these thoughts rambled through my brain during my workout – Day six of P90X.  Let me tell you something you may not know.  I love to workout.  LOVE IT.  I love the feeling of sweat and muscle burn, and the exhilaration of pushing your body to its limit.  It’s why I’ve kept running all these years, even through my weight’s ups and downs; it’s why I love P90X so much.  So, why, then, have I not continued to workout every day?

Because I know now what my new vice has become.

Taking care of everyone else.  Somewhere along the line, after the selfish indulgence of my twenties wore off, I started taking care of people – B, the kids at work, friends, family.  More than just care-taking, I wanted to be the fix-it lady.  Have a problem?  I can fix it.  Don’t want my advice?  I’m gonna give it to you anyway.  And, then, like quicksand, it sucked me in.  Suddenly, my own problems were shoved aside, and I didn’t have to think about them or deal, because I had SO MANY OTHER problems to fix.  Except, all those other problems weren’t really mine in the first place.

Working out for me isn’t a chore, or an irritation.  It’s a joy and a blessing in my day.  Why do I not do it?  Why do I struggle to make time?  Because it’s all about me.  And that’s a tough thing for me to be okay with.

But I’m getting better.  Last night Ian was up from 4 – 5:30 am.  Well, he was up longer than that, but at 5:30, B took over and I went back to sleep.  I’ve been getting up at 7 am to work out.  I knew that wasn’t happening today.  So I reset my alarm for 8:30 and got up to exercise.  Like a crazy little psychic tornado, Ian was up at 8:55, right as I was about to push play.  So I got him up, changed the diaper, gave him a sippy of milk, and did what a few weeks ago would have been unthinkable.  I used the magic of Sesame Street on Demand and finished my workout.  He’d wander out by me from time to time, then back to the tv in the bedroom, and I had pangs of guilt, but it worked.  Workout done, me time in, Ian happy to be watching Elmo – everyone okay.  Was it perfect?  No, but it felt so good.

(Now to make you all happy, here’s a picture of my child).

Excuses, Excuses…

Tags

excuses, goals, health, life, P90X, workout

Here it is, my list of excuses. I know they will come, eventually, and probably more I haven’t even thought of yet. I figured this time around, I’d bust my most common excuses before they happen.

1. I’m too tired to get up and exercise. I’ll do it later. 
If I don’t get up and exercise I won’t do it. I know I’ll wake up once I get going, and I’ll feel better all day long.

2. I have a headache/ PMS/ something hurts. 
I’ll just do my best. I won’t push too hard, and I’ll feel better overall when I’m done.

3. I’ve got too much to do. I’ll just take my rest day early.
This day off will just lead to another day off. Exercise is my priority for three months. Whatever “needs” to be done can be fit in later, or it really isn’t that important to begin with.

3. I am not going to make it through the day without a cup of coffee.
I did it every day that I was pregnant, and I survived just fine. If I really need a jolt later in the day, a cup of strong black tea will work just as well as a cup of coffee filled with sugar and cream, and without all the extra calories.

4. All my sports bras are dirty.
I’ll wear a regular bra with a workout tank over top. I’ll live with a little bounce.

5. Ian was up late/ I couldn’t sleep.
I managed on an insanely small amount of sleep for weeks after he was born. I can do it for just this one day and be fine.

6. There’s this recipe I really want to try.
The recipe will be there when this round of P90X is over, if I still want to try it.

7. But it’s Thanksgiving/ Christmas/ someone’s birthday!
There are lots of healthy food choices available. Me and my thin new body can have dressing and pie next year.

8. What a long day! I could really use a glass of wine.
The wine may lift my spirits for a minute, but I’ll be crabby and probably miss my workout tomorrow, and then I’ll be disappointed in myself to boot. I’ll take a hot bath and enjoy some relaxing tea instead.

9. I skipped a workout! I ate something awful! It’s all over – I quit~
That is just my perfectionist diva talking. So, I messed up? Okay. Get up, get going, push play. At the end of 90 days, it won’t be terrible if I fail a few times. It will be terrible if I am still in the same shape then that I am now.

10.  Ian is up early & won’t let me exercise.
Stop using Ian as an excuse! This is as much for him as it is for me. I will do what I can do, and get the rest in during his nap, or if necessary, after work.

Get Ready.

Tags

goals, health, life, projects, ramblings

I had forgotten.

I attempted a round of P90X a couple weeks ago with no forethought, no preparation, no planning. Nada. I am an idiot sometimes. In the last two weeks, I completed exactly four workouts and ate total garbage (though I am proud that I ate relatively little candy this year!). Now here I sit, feeling like a failed mess, and that’s okay. Did I mention, ever, that I have these perfectionistic tendencies? And if I can’t do something exactly, perfectly right, I generally don’t do it at all? That’s one reason following a plan like P90X is tough for me. Because I know, 100% know, no matter how hard I try and plan and prepare, it won’t be perfect. And I have to figure out how to make that okay. (It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay)

So today I dug out the actual book, and read up on how to get ready for this journey. This weekend I will clean out my cupboards (Sorry, B, you’ll have to keep your candy stash in the garage!), do some yoga, order my meal replacement shakes, and get my workout gear ready. I will plan my meals and grocery shop for this new way of eating. I’ll psych myself up in every way I know how to psych myself up for anything. And Wednesday, November 9th I’ll begin. (Now you’re wondering, “Why Wednesday, of all days?” That’s so I can make Tuesday my workout free day, as it’s the day I have the least time to do anything extra.)

If you’re my friend on Facebook or on my email list, well, get ready yourself. I plan to inundate my social network with motivational inspirations and updates. You’ll know far more than you ever cared to know about my health, fitness level, workouts and diet by the time this whole adventure is over. But, as you are on my friends list, you’ll read it and comment and love it.

Get ready.

On the Arrival of Autumn

Tags

autumn, Ian, life, seasons

Autumn is here, and I’m loving it. I used to dread this time of year…back to school, back to work, playtime over…you know. But somewhere along this treacherous path to adulthood, I started to appreciate and enjoy the energy of Autumn. What once meant the loss of that beautiful feeling of freedom only to be found by schoolchildren in the summertime, now means something completely different. There is no drastic switch, or change of events, but there are changes still.  Fall is slower, easier, less harried. Obligations to friends slow to a trickle, and life becomes about hearth and home, and those that make up your immediate family. The days get cooler and slower paced, and eventually, shorter.  The magnificent colors of autumn cannot be topped in this little section of Wisconsin where I live, and you can feel - really feel - the energy in the air shifting.  Everything is getting ready for winter – the animals, the trees, the people.  Everything.

Friday Five – October 14th

Tags

animation, food, friday five, funny, recipes, veggies, video

I blinked and a month went by.

1. 30 for 30 Challenge at Kendi Everyday: Kendi has created a fun challenge: To take 30 pieces out of your wardrobe and mix and match them to get 30 outfits. I don’t think my wardrobe is quite there yet, but it’s fun to look at her past mix-and-matches.

2.  Make your own pumpkin spice latte (from Daily Nibbles):  You know you wait for it.  That first crisp fall day, strolling down the sidewalk, a hot Pumpkin Spice Latte in hand.  Who would have guessed you could make your own without the sticky sweet pumpkin syrup at the coffee shop?  I have yet to try this one, but it might be worth it to dig the espresso machine out of storage to give it a go.

3.  Autumn Fruits and Veggies (from calorie count):  As much as I love my veggies, I get a little lost as summer switches over to fall.  What to cook?  What to buy?  Well, here is a handy list of what’s good this time of year. (And here’s another).

4. It’s Okay to Not Like Things: I have watched this little video obsessively in the last few weeks!

5. Hiding Under Water, live performance by Beth Hart: What an unbelievably powerful voice this girl has!

End of Summer

Tags

food, Ian, life, meal planning

Food this time of year is so beautiful. Lush, rich colors and plump, shiny fruits and vegetables make it my favorite time of year, food-wise. Life has been busy, busy, busy around here, with summer coming to a close, last minute gatherings and outings and everything else there is to see or do or worry about.  The end of summer being what it is, I’ve had no time for proper cooking, or blogging, or anything, really.  But we’ve has some fun times with family and friends, and are still working on fixing up our new little apartment.  I thought, since I’ve had no real entries in a while, I would compile a list of what I eat when I’m not “cooking.” These meals are all about quick and easy, veggie-heavy meals that mean more time for fun and less time for clean-up.

Meal #1: Potstickers and broccoli. This is the ultimate cheat meal for a quick fix. Walmart brand frozen chicken potstickers, that come with their own sauce, and frozen broccoli, steamed in the microwave with butter, salt and pepper.

Meal #2: Tuna Melt with Veggies. I was hungry on this day! Tuna melts with tomato and smoked provolone on a Thomas’ bagel, served with pan-fried yellow squash and North Fork Sweet Potato Chips.

Summer Treat: Dairy Queen ice cream! Ian loves it, but who doesn’t?

Meal #3: Tomato Sandwich with Roasted Eggplant. The tomato sandwich is a staple of my diet from mid-August to mid-September, as the tomatoes start rolling in from the garden, and it’s just what it sounds like – sliced tomatoes on toast with mayo, salt and pepper. Sometimes basil, sometimes bacon, but usually just good old garden-fresh maters.

Meal #4: Yellow Squash, Mushroom, Spinach and Egg Scramble with Habanero Salsa. Yum!

And Meal #5: Another take on the tomato sandwich…Grilled Tomato and Cheese on Flatbread. Yummy, and so filling all you need is the sandwich and you have a complete meal.

That’s it, five days of meal ideas for quick and easy end-of-summer lunches.  Hopefully, I’ve inspired  you to go get some garden veggies for the week, or maybe I’ve just made you hungry.  Either way, enjoy!  This time of year never seems to last long enough.

Quick & Easy: Zucchini Muffins

Tags

baking, cake, food, quick&easy, recipes

What do you get when you mix a giant zucchini with a random box of cake mix? Pure deliciousness, that’s what.

A friend of mine gave me the biggest zucchini I’ve seen, ever. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to snap a picture until I’d already shredded most of it, but, oh well. The thing was well over a foot long. Shredding it scored a 2-cup glass measuring cup full to the brim…so closer to 3 cups from one zucchini. When the vegetable gets that big, usually they are too woody to be any good cooked plain, and since I’ve had no time for baking lately, there it sat on my fruit stand, waiting.

Finally, I knew it had to get used up or go to waste, and I got to shredding. I had a marble cake mix in the cabinet, and some cupcake liners, and so, voila…easy zucchini muffins. The actual recipe I used was here: Super Easy Zucchini Bread, but I modified it slightly. I omitted any chocolate chips or nuts, and followed the directions on the cake mix to get the “marbled” effect.

The actual process couldn’t have been easier, and even with the extra steps required to do the marbling, the whole thing took less than 15 minutes, not including cooking time. In the end, I had to dash off to work before the second batch was out of the oven, so hubby indulged me and snapped this last shot:

Looks yummy, no?

Cook and Share: A Grilled Feast for a Late Summer Day

Tags

cook and share, food, life, recipes

Tonight for dinner we had a grilled feast:  Sliders (mini burgers) on ham rolls, grilled red potatoes, grilled asparagus, grilled eggplant and roasted corn.  Lee’s parents were down for a visit and the meal was perfect: A simple bonanza ideal for late summer, loaded with flavor, but with minimal prep and cleanup time.  The weather had been rainy all day and almost didn’t cooperate, but in the end, the skies cleared and the feast was on.

Blue Cheese Sliders
3 pounds ground beef (I used Black Angus 80/20)
2 Tbsp Montreal Steak Seasoning
2 Tbsp Lea and Perrins Worcestershire sauce
5 cloves minced garlic
1 4-oz container Crystal Farms Blue Cheese (from Wisconsin, yo!)
Salt & Pepper to taste

Mix all together in a big bowl. I just use my hands and squish, squish, squish until it’s combined. Shape into small patties to accommodate whatever buns or rolls you will be using. I used some delightfully soft ham rolls from the bakery. The were small, so I ended up with 13 burger patties. Grill till done to your liking.

Grilled Red Potatoes
Dice 4 or 5 small red potatoes and 1/2 a sweet onion. Fold a generous pull of aluminum foil into a packet. Place the potatoes and onions in the tin foil packet (open part of the fold on top so as not to drip on your grill). Add two Tbsp butter and salt and pepper to taste. Grill 10 – 15 min or till soft.

Grilled Zucchini
Take one bunch zucchini. Remove woody stem ends, wash, and place in tin foil packet with butter, salt and pepper to taste. Grill 5-8 minutes or till al dente.

Grilled Eggplant
Take one large eggplant and slice lengthwise. In a small bowl whisk together one cup vegetable oil, one cup Kraft Cracked Pepper Cooking Sauce (found in the Caesar Sizzling Salads Kit), and two minced cloves garlic till blended. Brush liberally on both sides of each eggplant slice. Grill for 3-4 minutes each side.

Now go get your grill on, and enjoy!

And Here’s to 35 More!

Tags

birthday, goals, life, quotes

Well, here it is. My official 35th birthday. I think I’ve handled it rather well. For the first time in a long time, the year ahead feels full of possibility and hope.

“Each moment of the year has its own beauty, a picture which was never seen before, and which shall never be seen again.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I started doing this years ago.  For the past few years, I’ve fallen out of the habit. In the spirit of positive change (which hopefully this coming year will be filled with for all of us), I bring you the list of goals for my 35th year.

My 36 before 36

1.  Find a job I am happy at, a fulfilling job – personally and financially – that helps me feel good about the world and my place in it.

2.  Brush up on my conversational French.

3.  Run a 5K.

4.  Pay off all debts, except for the student loan – that’ll be awhile

5.  Finish writing novel.

6.  Submit writing for freelance work each and every week.

7.  Sign up for some toddler and me classes at the Y.  Done!

8.  Refresh my yoga practice, whether with a class or just renewed daily yoga time.

9.  Fit into a size 10.

10. Plan at least one weekend away with B. Just B, and me.

11. Get a nice, long massage.

12.  Read 25 books.

13.  Write more letters.

14.  Make (and stick to) a monthly budget.

15.  Start an investment fund for Ian.

16. Make water my beverage of choice.

17. Cuddle Ian every day.

18.  Learn some conversational Spanish.

19. Take a writing class.

20. Purge some unused stuff.

21. Build a wardrobe based on Tim Gunn’s Style Essentials.

22. Connect with God.

23. Get into nature as often as possible.

24. Take Ian on many hikes, bike rides and frolics.

25. Tell B I love him every day.

26. Entertain at the new apartment (now that we have the outdoor space)!

27. Switch to decaf.

28. Take Ian to some baby-sit reading times at the library.

29.  Get a new car.

30. Develop a better system for grocery shopping.

31. Cut food and household expenses down to $150 a week.

32. Devise a plan to purchase a house no later than summer of 2013 (hopefully sooner)!

33. Do something nice for myself once a month.

34. Volunteer.

35. Post 200 new blog entries.

36. Attend a writing conference.

“You try to make an interesting journey between the cradle to the grave, you know?” ~ Robert Duvall